Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Exile Chapter 49 Draft 4

I've finished chapter 49 of the fourth draft of Exile and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

This chapter is really really long and had some gigantic continuity errors in it as well as several large parts that had to be added to fill in some gaps. One of these parts was where Patrick puts his armor onto Mal. Patrick is basically Mal's childhood hero and he's completely tonguetied when he actually has the chance to meet and talk to him. This comes from my own childhood. When i was little I practically worshiped Luke Skywalker from star wars. I dresse up like him for Halloween like 7 years in a row. Whenever my parents rented videos I always wanted one of the star wars trilogy (we were poor back then and couldn't afford a VCR of our own so we rented one every now and then). And when I was seven my parents took me to a convention where Mark Hamil was speaking and signing autographs. I was sooooo excited to actually get to meet the man that brought my hero to life, but when I finally got up to him I was so shy I couldn't say a single word to him when he smiled at me and said "may the force be with you, young jedi." He seemed really nice and all, and he obviously wanted to keep my Star Wars illusions alive after meeting him, but I was just too awestruck by meeting him, and finding that he was just a normal person like anyone else that I couldn't say a word. That experience got me to thinking that maybe you're just never meant to come face to face with your own personal heroes. It was actually very awkward for me, and so I made it be that way for Mal.

I also added a lot more introversion with Mal. He's about to give up his humanity to save the world, and in the last draft he wasn't thinking about any of that as he went to Avalon. If I was in his place I'd be pissing and moaning and whining about how afraid I was. (I'm a complainer) So I added in some of that in. Other things that changed were obviously a lot of hte characer introductions for Patrick's people as those were taken care of in teh new parts added to drat three and not necessary here anymore. Silmera's reaction to Mal coming to save her is definitely a lot different now, and much more fitting. And I added in Markus marrying Patrick and Weasel before the battle for laughs, and because it's something that real people in the real world would do. They're about to go into battle where it's pretty much a certainty that they will both die. They'd want to be married before that.

This chapter is where I start jumping around from viewpoint to viewpoint, across several locations. It's pretty much the beginning of the climax of the story. In this chapter we get Points of view from Mal, Silmera, Patrick, and Fayt Nightfang, in five different locations.

This chapter needed a ton of work, and it took me forever to get through it. It still seems a little jumbled to me, and hopefully that'll be fixed when i start cutting ti down to size.

No comments:

Post a Comment