Monday, January 31, 2011


So, in preparation for book 2, I've been reading The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothuss again, because I tend to read books I enjoyed multiple times. There's always something there that you didn't notice the first time around, and sometimes things you miss in the second. This time through i'm noticing something very strange that i didn't pick up on too much the first time through. I don't know how to describe it. it's almost like listening to an awesome story told to you in complete monotone. It's like the author doesn't have a clue what pacing or tone are, and just gives you all of the events that happen in the same dry tone. There's no rising action, there's no climax, it's just events in a character's life that just sort of ends like the writer suddenly realized his book was too long and split it into multiple parts, but didn't have a very good place to break off the first one at. It's still a good and entertaining book, but going through it a second time I'm starting to get kind of annoyed with the writer's lack of emotion, no feeling, no excitement, just like he's telling it in complete monotone, droning on like a teacher giving a lecture on historical events. It almost feels like he doesn't even care about what he's writing. Oh well... I'm still going to buy the other two books in the trilogy--hopefully he'll have learnt how to tell a story by then--and despite the weird monotone feel of it, The Name of the Wind is still a pretty good read.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Exile Chapter 48 Draft 4

Done with chapter 48 of the fourth draft of Exile and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Lots of filling in descriptions of Avalon, and fixing continuity errors. Not much else.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Exile Chapter 47 Draft 4

Work suuuuuuucks in the snow. Takes 2 hrs longer than normal, you freeze your butt off all day long because the heaters in the postal vehicals only work when they feel like it, which isn't often, and you get completely soaked from the knees down.

/whinefest off

Anyway, I've finished Chapter 47 of the fourth draft of Exile and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

There was a ton of work needed on this chapter. And it actually ended up shorter than the third draft was. I cut out a really large chunk of Lilia explaining how Mal's new knife works, glossing over it because a detailed explanation really didn't belong there and kinda derailed the flow of events.

Other than that there wasn't much in the way of big changes, mostly I just fixed bad writing, added more description, and tried to make everything more coherrent.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Exile Chapter 46 draft 4

I've finihed chapter 46 of the fourth draft of Exile and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

This chapter needed a lot of work. There was a lot of just general bad writing, some very big continuity errors, and a lot of missing character developement on Lilia's part. All of that has been fixed, and it's all looking much better now.

Ok, so earlier we have Mal finding his reason to stop running away and stand up and fight. In this chapter you can really see the changes in his character that have come about because of all of the things he's been through. He's not an awkward, whining, emo-filled douchebag that thinks only of himself anymore, he's moved beyond that and basically grown up and taken reponsibility. Through his hardships he's grown as a character, to be more than he was at the beginning of the story. His behavior in this chapter is also influenced by what the Northern Sage told him he should do.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Exile Chapter 45 Draft 4

I've finished Exile Chapter 45 draft 4 and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

This chapter is the beginning of Part Five: Destiny. Ok, so, you probably didn't notice this while reading through, but this story follows a pattern with which points of view the story is told through. In part one, it's my main focus to grab your attention with as much excitement as i can. Therefore there are points of view of five separate characters in those 4 chapters, and several rapid scene changes. This is to make it feel like things are running out of control and confused. You don't know who's who quite yet and you're exposed to points of view from characters that you never see again after Part One, or who play very minor roles in the rest of the story.

After Part One I settled into a more stable pattern in parts 2-4. There are two main viewpoints, Mal and Silmera, and they get pretty equal screen time. Mixed in are the supporting viewpoints of Patrick and Weasel, usually one chapter per part, and two in part 2 because it's so long. Things move very slowly, and there's little in the way of scene change. Keeping with two solid character viewpoints and a chapter here and there of side story gives for a more structered foundation to build up the story on. You know who the story is about, you get to know them, you see their trials and such through their eyes.

Then we get to part five. After you've gotten comfortably into the groove of having the story told from these two main viewpoints, I pull the rug out from under you and start tossing in viewpoints from characters that previously had none. The story switches very rapidly between viewpoints from characters you haven't had much contact with, and between several different locations. This is to make it feel like things are speeding up again, and everything is falling apart and crashing down around the stable foundation i built in parts 2-4. When I was planning this story out, i planned it this way on purpose to make for a more exciting ending. It's not literary ADD, it's all intentional.

Anyway, this chapter is the beginning of everything ramping up to the big finish. The chapter is told from lilia's point of view, a character who has been a presense in the rest of the story mostly off screen, talked about by the main characters, but rarely interacted with. Giving a minor character the spotlight in such an important scene might seem strange, but it gives me a way to both explain what's going on, and who everyone is without seeming like I'm only doing it for hte benefit of the reader. Every other character in this scene knows who everyone else is, and exactly what the situation is. Only Lilia is oblivious to it all, so I use that to explain it all to you. Plus, giving her the spotlight as the point of view starts the avalanche right off with something unfamilliar to shake things up right from the beginning.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

End of Part 4 draft 4 ^^V

I've finished Chapter 44 of the fourth draft of Exile, which is the end of Part Four: Transfiguration. You can download it at the bottom of this page.

Ok, as I said before i had a lot of trouble naming part 4. I setteled on Transfiguration, becoming something else or more than what you are now, for a few reasons. First of all because Mal becomes a Samirreh, and learns how to use that and the Dark God to become even more than that. Also because this is the part of the story when all of the characters come to personal realizations that help them to become more than what they are, to grow stronger so that they can defeat their opposition in the end. Weasel comes to terms with her husband's death and moves on with her life. Mal finds a reason in himself to fight. And in this chapter Silmera overcomes her own inner emo and discovers that it's really her that's been the cause of all of her own unhappiness in life, and resolves to take what she can get, namely Mal, as she has finally discovered that she has feelings for him as well. The only character that hasn't had his moment of transfiguration yet is Patrick, and that comes later on during the battle.

There were a lot of changes to the last half of this chapter. There were some sontinuity issues to fix, but mostly what I added was some very deep delving into Silmera's character as she does some soul searching to find her reasons for going on in herself. Though I haven't played it up very much until now, she is suffering quite a bit, and is really trapped in a cage of her own making. She had some very deep delving into her own motives to do and I kind of just glossed over it in previous drafts. She sacrifices her life later on to save Mal's, and there was no way that she would have done that unless she found her reason to go on with life in this chapter. Before this chapter she was never exactly selfish, but she also doesn't care much about other people. Now she's resolved to be a better person, and to care more, and to take what love and happiness she can get. She's finally, after a thousand years of searching, found what she's been looking for, and she'd rather die than see someone take it from her. She needed to discover these things in herself, and this is the best place for her to do that.

anyway, this chapter is reaaaaaally long, because she has quite a bit of crap to work through in her heart, but at the end she's got real motivation for doing the things she does later on in the story. She's finally found something to hold onto, and she'd not going to let anyone take it away, even if she has to die to protect it. She'd lost her purpose in life, because what she set out to do a thousand years ago has proven completely impossible. She wanted to die because she knew no other way of life. Now she's discovered a new purpose, a new reason for living, a new reason to fight.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Exile Chapter 43 Draft 4

I've finished draft 4 of Exile Chapter 43 and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page

Going back to the three act play story format this chapter is the end of act two. The bad guy wins. Things are not looking so hot for our heroes right now, and there doesn't seem like there's much hope. Mal has triumphed over his inner emo, but now Silmera's been taken prisoner and he's got to fight his way through sixty thousand Samirreh and Ven to get her back, not to mention the fact that there's still the matter of his destiny to be considered. And time is running out, there's only a day and a half to go before the Samirreh force their way into Avalon and make it impossible for him to do what he needs to do. At this point in the story, he's looking at some pretty bad odds and there doesn't seem like there's much he can do to overcome them. He's even had to do what he swore he'd never do again just to get to Nothengard in time.

But there is still hope, no matter how small it might be. Aaron is gathering his army, and Mal has made a deal with the Dark God to get him to them before his time runs out. Now begins act three. The heroes regroup, and throw themselves at the villains with all they have left.

Exile Chapter 42 Draft 4

Two days off in a row... That happens once in a blue moon for me. Anyway, I've finished the fourth draft of Exile Chapter 42 and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Lots and lots of continuity errors were fixed in this chapter as well as Mal asking the Northern Sage for some advice, which is something I think he needed to do. Brave as he may be, he's not exactly the smartest guy ever born, and he needed a little push in the right direction for what he would do when he reaches the Allied Army. Having him come up with it all on his own was a little unrealistic.

I've always liked this chapter, not because it's got massive battles or duels in it, or because there's a whole lot of action. I like it because it's where Mal's internal struggle comes to a head. This is where he finally sees the figurative light at the end of the tunnel and decides he's going to do things because he wants to, not because he's told he has to. He's been through a lot, and there's more to come, but it's not so hard to carry anymore because he's made his decision to fight. This is basiaclly where he grows up, stops whining, and looks ahead to what has to be done. When writing you only have your words as tools. It's not like a movie when you've got the music, the sound effects, real people before you acting out all of the emotion. One thing that writing has above a movie is that you can describe every single thought and feeling that is going through a character. This makes it so that emotional struggles in a character can be just as interesting, if not more so, than actual physical conflict. The triumph of a character seems so much more triumphant when you know everything that's been going through his head, and all of his emotions rather than seeing an actor on a screen with a big smile whilst some sort of triumphant fanfare plays in the background. Which is not to say that sort of thing doesn't get the same message and emotion across, it just does it in a different, more vague way.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

And another one...

Finished Chapter 41 of the fourth draft of Exile today too. You can download it at the bottom of this page.

This chapter was perfect the way it was. I didn't change a single word in it. I suppose that will make up for the next chapter which will probably have to be almot completely rewritten to fix the many, many, many continuity errors that I've created by changing other things earlier in the story.

At the moment I'm on page 370 of 510, which puts me at about 72% completion of the 4th draft. I'm currently up to 321k words... ouch... ><

Okay, I lied...

I was on such a roll I just couldn't stop, so here's chapter 40 of the 4th draft of Exile. You can download it if you are so inclined at the bottom of this page.

Only a few small continuity issues fixed here. The vast majority of the text has not changed in this chapter since draft 2.

Exile Chapter 39 Draft 4

wow, when I have absolutely nothing else to do I can get a lot done in one day. 3 chapters today ftw, but now that I've spent the last 8 hours straight working on editing work I think my brain is about to melt, so I'm done for the day. Anyway, Exile Chapter 39 draft 4 can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

This chapter is basically the same as it was in draft 2. There were some very minor continuity errors, but not much else that needed fixing. Fayt Nightfang makes his first real appearance in this chapter. 2/3 of the way through is kind of late to be introdicing the antagonist of a story, which is why I went back and added several small parts earlier on to show that he's there, and that he's doing something evil, but just hasn't come into contact with the characters quite yet. He's been talked about in one form or another throughout the entire story, but this is the first real appearance he makes, and the first time that he interacts with any of the characters. Of course he did meet Silmera long, long ago, but that's still a secret to be revealed at the final confrontation.

Exile Chapter 38 draft 4

On a roll today BWAAHAAHAA, the fourth draft of Exile chapter 38 is done and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Ok, this chapter had a lot of continuity issues to deal with because of the changes I've made in Mal and Silmera's relationship and Mal and Lilia's relationship. Also I added a big chunk of developement for the relationship between Mal and Silmera.

My sister started reading this story and one of her complaints was that in an earlier chapter (and in this one, though she hasn't read it yet) that the way I have Silmera describe being pregnant to Mal is not realistic. Ok, for one, my sister, much like me, has never been pregnant either so how would she know? And second, every single word i write on the subject in this story comes almost word for word from the mouth of an old highschool friend of mine who just gave birth to her third son on sunday. Congrats Anna, btw =) (and yes Anna in this story is named after her, and looks something like her, blonde hair and green eyes) I wanted for Silmera's descriptions of it to be authentic, instead of a man trying to describe something he can never experience, so I asked the most conveniant pregnant person I had to hand, and everything that Silmera says on the matter comes straight from her mouth, not mine. Also some of Weasel's thoughts and feelings on the matter as well. Thus I prove, yet again, that my sister has no idea what she's talking about =P

I also finally decided to tell how Silmera's uncle died. He is a major character in the story of the Demon Queen Marael, and though i've always known how he died, I've never actually put it into the story. I only said taht it was an accident, which is partly true. Let me explain. Silmera was a child, being raised by her aunt and uncle in Zion. Heretics stop aging normally when they hit puberty so, even though she was twenty years old, she still looked like she was twelve, and somewhat still thought of herself as a child. While trying to play with other children, she underestimated her own strength, and another child was hurt severly as a result. It was a complete accident and she even carried the hurt child home, crying over what she'd done. That's the accident she's talking about when she said her uncle died in an accident. The parents of the hurt child roused a mob of angry people and they came for Silmera in the night to kill her for being the Demon Queen Marael's daughter, using the hurt child as proof of her evil nature. Before they knew what was happening, their home was set on fire, and Silmera's aunt was killed when the roof caved in. Silmera's uncle threw her out the back door and told her to run, leave the city, and never come back while he held the mob back to give her time to escape to safety. This is why Silmera has never returned to Zion until now, because she was respecting her Uncle's last request. Anyway, the mob caught them trying to get away through the back allies, and Owen stayed behind to hold them back while Silmera ran. He'd vowed after the war that he would never draw his sword to spill human blood again no matter what, so he went to meet them unarmed. He fought to pacify, not to hurt or kill, and in doing so he left himself open for the first blade to slide into his flesh. Once first blood was drawn the mob fell on him with all their ferocity, stabbing him over and over again, while Silmera watched from further down the alley in the shadows, unable to do a thing to help. He yelled to her to run, and then he fell dead to dozens of wounds that would have killed a human on their own. For most of his life he'd fought against the established government and the Templar Order, and only in the war for the fate of humanity had he realized how wrong he'd been. He started doing everything he possibly could in order to redeem himself, and he saw ensuring that Marael's daughter made it to safety as his last final act of atonement, for which he gave his life. Though her mother was the most evil being ever known, he'd raised Silmera and knew that she was pure, and innocent, and had nothing of her mother's evil taint in her.

It should also be of note that Silmera's aunt and uncle were not married. Owen was Auren's son, and Auren was the son of Vincent who was the son of the Northern Sage. Sarael, her aunt was Marael's twin sister, and daughter of the Northern Sage. They developed a friendship and fondness for each other during the war, though on a completely non-romantic level, and after the war they decided to live together and both help to raise Silmera so the child would have both a male and female hand in her developement. They were both related to Silmera by blood and related to each other by blood as well. Sarael actually married someone else, but he died in the last battle of the War of Zion, and Owen thought it was his duty to care for her now that she was a widow.

Silmera has always felt extremely guilty for the death of her aunt and uncle (who is really more of a cousin, but she's always called him uncle) for most of her life she's been running away from it, and trying to convince herself that he died in an accident rather than at the hands of a mob to whom he was once a hero.

And yes, most of my characters have backstories as detailed as this, even minor ones like Silmera's aunt and uncle who are barely even mentioned. It's part of my brainstorming process before I start writing.

Exile Chapter 37 Draft 4

day off woohoo, Chapter 37 of the fourth draft of Exile is done and can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

sooooo, this chapter has changed to make it a bit deeper than it was previously. I've added in a lot of introversion in both Silmera and Mal, thinking about their feelings for each other, and what they're supposed to do now. They're both hurting, crying out for help, and needing each other, but circumstances are pulling them apart. They needed to feel helpless, out of control, sad and angry at the situation and that didn't really come across in previous drafts. The original title of this chapter was Subtle Blackmail, but i changed it to just Blackmail because there was really nothing subtle about it at all.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Free Will

So I recently had an argument with a longtime internet friend who both happens to be gay, and happens to live in california. He, like many pro-gay marriage people blame the LDS church (aka the Mormons) of which I am a member, for the california ban on gay marriage. He only recently discovered that I am LDS and wrote me a very scathing e-mail saying that he never wanted to speak to me again.

Now, before I start I should probably outline some of my basic beliefs on homosexuality. I am a christian. I have been raised in a christian house, and have christian beliefs. One of those beliefs is that homosexuality is wrong. Frankly, the thought of myself romantically involved with another man is rather revolting to me. That being said, I also believe that when Christ said "love thy neighbor" he did not mean love thy righteous neighbors only. He included EVERYONE in that statement. He didn't give stipulations. Just because someone does something that I personally believe is wrong, does not make them a bad person. It does not make them unworthy of my respect, or my friendship. I am normally very accepting of what I see as flaws in my friends and loved ones because I am about as far from perfect as a person can possibly get. I am often quick to point out or mock flaws in people i don't know or care about, and that is one of my many flaws. And as a disclaimer, everything i say are my views alone, and i am in no way in a position to speak for my church. My views may be contradictory to their current policies. In a perfect world they would not be, but this is hardly a perfect world and i am hardly perfect myself.

I also believe that this life is a test. We're dumped here with all the temptations you could dream of, and a few that you would never imagine in yor wildest dreams until they jump you in a back alley and steal your wallet at knife point, and given this wonderful thing called free will. God pointed to the world and said, "Go, choose your own way, but choose wisely and follow my commandments, for only in doing so can you ever return to me. I will not interfere. You are free to choose your own path and rise or fall as your decisions dictate." That sounds suspiciously like the speach the old crusader in the last Indiana Jones movie that counted said, but whatever. It is not my place to tell you how to live your life. It is my place to live my own life. If you are gay, that's your business, and something that you can take up with the almighty on the last day. It is not my place to live your life for you and make your decisions. It's frankly none of my business. What kind of test would it be if someone else gave you all of the answers. How much would you learn? How much woul you grow? How could you progress and become more than what you are if I dictate how you are to live your life for you?

Anyway, while it may be my personal belief that homosexuality is a sin, that does not make every gay person out there evil. It does not mean that i believe they are all bound for hell, an abomination that must be ostracized at any cost, or at least ignored as though they do not exist, undeserving of respect, or love, or friendship. It means that I disagree with the way that they live their lives, but as an adult, I can see past that disagreement to the person behind it. Gay people happen. There are many of them out there. Ignoring the fact as inconveniant to your beliefs, or forcing them to adhere to your beliefs is not going to make them go away. I have a cousin that is gay, and given that his parents are what i commonly refer to as religious fanatics--the type of people who have never had a single thought of their own in their entire life, and do everything that their church leaders and hte republican party tell them to without question--I have a great deal of respect for him and his finally standing up to them and telling them just what is what. They disowned him for it of course, and refuse to acknoledge that he was ever born, and that just goes to show how hypocritical they are in their faith.

I also have had several friends and coworkers that are gay. I do not hate them, or refuse to work with them, or condemn their lifestyle at every opportunity, because their lives are theirs to live. Their mistakes are theirs to make. It is not my place to judge whether or not the choices they have made and the lives that they lead are right or wrong. And thank god for that. Can you imagine having to be the one sitting in judgement over mankind? I'd just as soon not, thank you very much.

Now, onto the subject of gay marriage and the california ban. This is a very charged subject, and really, whatever I say on the matter someone somewhere will probably be offended by it in some way. I've always been very blunt, and who cares who I offend with my words. It is my belief that marriage is a sacred rite between a man and a woman. That is not to say that I am completely against gay people being allowed to marry. It is the standpoint of my religion that allowing gay people to marry and still call it marriage is an affront to sacred rituals of our faith. However, I also see the need to allow for free will. Removing a person's choice of whether or not to marry someone of the same gender is the same as making the choice for them. You're taking away their right to choose their way through life. That is a god given right, and whether or not you agree or disagree with the choices someone makes with their free will, they are still THEIR choices to make. Banning gay marriage removes the choice, and therfore negates free will, which in turn negates the entire purpose of being placed in the situation where you would have to make the choice in the first place, which is the great and marvelous plan of the almighty god. You can see the dilema here. On one hand marriage is a sacred rite between a man and a woman, but banning those who wish to marry those of the same gender from doing so goes against what life is all about.

Now, as for those like my friend, who is extremely angry at the LDS faith for their part in getting gay mariage banned in california, there is something that you must realize. Your side of the argument is not the only side of the argument. Your side of the argument is not necessarily the right side of the argumen because it is the side that you are on. The same goes for everyone else. It is true that the LDS church gave a great deal of funding toward TV ads and fliers that led to the ultimate banning of gay marriage. It is also true that they were not the only ones responsible. The Roman Catholic church had a large hand in this, as did several other smaller christian religions. These different factions of christianity came together over a common goal, and the result was a vote in which the overwhelming majority of the citizens of california voted against gay marriage. Ultimately it was the people themselves that chose how to vote. No one forced them to choose one way or another. They exercised their free will to choose. Would the vote have gone the same way had there not been so much talk from religions against it? who can say? Were they right in doing it? That's not for me to say one way or another and my current opinion on the matter is not anyone else's business.

I am sorry that a right was taken away from many people who believe that their happiness has been unjustly torn away from them. But I personally had nothing to do with it, and should not be blamed for what others have done. Had I been a resident of california i would have voted to allow gay marriage, for reasons outlined in this rant. The thing you have to realize is that as you are--or were, until the ban--able to make your own choices, so is everyone else in the world. You may not always agree with the choices of others, and those choices may sometimes hurt you deeply, but you can't force everyone else to only do what you think is best. You're turning around and doing to them the same thing that they did to you. I understand the act of finding a conveniant target for your anger and frustration. I do the same thing on occasion. However, the people of California exercised their own free will and voted to ban gay marriage. The people who funded the advertisements that influenced their choices did the same. It all comes down to people exercising their god given right to choose their own path. They may have been wrong to remove this particular choice from before you, but if they were, they will face judgement for it, just as you will for your treatment of them in venting your anger over it.

I find it very amusing that when the overwhelming majority of californians voted against gay marriage, there are so many people being so vocal about what an attrocity it is. Either some people are complete douchebag hypocrite liars taht voted to ban gay marriage and now are speaking out against it, or there are only a very few people that are actually against banning gay marriage and making a big enough noise about it as to seem like there are many more of them. If so many people voted against gay marriage why are there so many people condemning the ban? Where did they come from? Why didn't they bother to go out and vote FOR it? If so many people believe so strongly about it, and aren't being hypocrites that voted one thing and say another, then why did the ban pass? But that's not the point. The ultimate point of this post is to say that it did pass, and I didn't have anything to do with it one way or another.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I disagree with homosexuality, but I disagree even more with curtailing the rights of those who are homosexuals. Though they may live their lives in a way that is contrary to your beliefs, they are still people, and deserve to be treated as such, and it is not for you to place judgement upon them for their lifestyle choices. You have to realize that there are always going to be people that are different from you out there, and though you may believe with all your heart that your way is the correct way, not everyone is going to see it like that. Gay people aren't going to stop being gay because you think it's wrong. Most of them wouldn't change the way they are given the chance, and you can either be understanding of that, or you can be a hate filled jackass that is contrary to your own christian beliefs (if that applies). I hope this goes a little ways toward patching things up between me and my friend. I've known him for over 10 years and I would hate to lose someone whose opinions on my writing have been so extremely helpful during that time. I value his friendship and losing it over something stupid that someone else has done would be a tragedy.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Exile Chapter 36 Draft 4

I've finished Exile Chapter 36 draft 4 and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Not much to say about this one, it's basically not changed much since draft 2, though there are a few little additions, such as Mal feeling that he deserves what has happened to him as punishment for his failure to keep the Dark God under control. This is a small little addition, but it is extremely important to know before Mal goes to the Northern Sage, because it is one of the major reasons why he makes the choices that he makes in the end. He's not on a quest to save the world. He's not on a quest to rid the Four Kingdoms of the Samirreh. He's not on a quest to become the next Oracle. All he wants is to make things right again, to pay for what he's done and be forgiven for it. That is his entire motivation to seek out the Northern Sage. His love for Silmera plays a big role in his leap of faith at the end, but as for choosing to fight and save the Four Kingdoms from the Samirreh, that is all from his desire to atone for his sins.

I've also added Mal blurting out that he loves Silmera, which is also important because it's going to nag at her in the back of her mind and force her to think about it, and ultimately realize that she loves him in return. In the second draft she just sort of came to the realization out of nowhere, and that's really not how these things work in my experience.

Exile Chapter 35 Draft 4

I'm done with chapter 35 of the fourth draft of Exile and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

This is the first chapter of Part Four: Transfiguration. I had a lot of trouble naming this part. I didn't really have any idea what single word or phrase could describe everything that happens in the next 10 chapters. I finally settled on Transfiguration because Mal becomes a Samirreh, and goes on to learn how to become more than a Samirreh, and from there to transcend humanity completely. But not only does his body change over the rest of the storyline, he learns and grows as a person, becoming more than he was before, to be able to deal with all of the horrible things in his life.

Anyway, this chapter is the final chapter in the Patrick/Weasel storyline before it completely merges into the main storyline. It's not as long as the others before it because though the things that happen in it are monumental to these characters, not much needs to be said about them. It needed a bit of overhauling in this draft because of some continuity errors between what has happened in the third draft and what happens with these characters in the end. there will also be a lot of these sorts of errors to fix in the rest of the parts with them throughout the end.

This is one of the triumphing moments of this storyline. Both characters overcome something that has been a dark shadow over their lives for a very long time. Their ordeals have ended much sooner than Mal and Silmera's because of how few chapters there are about them, and because I needed a feel-good moment to break up all of the depressing horrible things that are happening in the other storyline. By the end of this chapter Patrick and Weasel have basically overcome nearly every obstacle that has been placed before them, and just have one last battle to survive before they can live happily ever after. There's still the whole name guessing thing, but that'll be taken care of later before the battle.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Exile End of Part 3

sooooo, helping my cousin move, but first I'm using my uncle's computer to post the chapter of Exile I finished last night BWAAHAAHAA. I finished up Exile Chapter 34 last night but it was really really late so I didn't put it up until now. You can downloade it, if you feel so inclined, at the bottom of this page.

This chapter is the end of Part Three: Exiled, as there is a one month break in the story between this chapter and the next while Mal is in a coma. The story jumps ahead because nothing happens. Aaron, Lilia, Anna and Silmera sit around waiting for Mal to wake up. Patrick moves north. The Samirreh strengthen their hold on the North and begin pounding away at the magical barriers placed around Avalon by the first Council of Wizards. Rather than give you the boring details of everyone repositioning to serve the plot, I spare you by skipping ahead a month to where things start happening again. As I've said before, this story is long enough as it is. It's over 315k words now. Which, if you're keeping score, is as long as the first four Harry Potter books combined.

Chapter 34 has quite a bit of action in it. It's mostly fighting with a bit of introversion from Mal at the beginning. This chapter needed a crapton of work because most of hte action was incoherent garbage that was indecipherable even to me, the one that actually wrote it. But everything makes sense now and flows along well. Took forever to get this fight tweaked enough to make sense, but it was really worth it. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but this chapter is pretty awesome now. ^^V

With this story I took the approach of building up the characters, the world, the situation, the villains, and all of that at first before much of anything else happened, trying to build a relationship between the characters and the person reading about them, and making hte world as real as it possibly can to you. I saved all of the action for the latter half of the story on purpose so that when it finally starts to happen you actually care about the people its happening to. I've never done that in a story before. I was actually trying out what Brandon Sanderson does with his books to see how it would work for me. The problem with this story is that it didn't really fit his mold where everything builds up until the very end and then comes crashing down. So i built up for the first half and now with the second half things start rolling faster and faster until they hit the end. That way of doing things really fits this story well I think, you get to know everyone and then BAM everything that can possibly go wrong does, and then they struggle through to win.

Going back to the three act play story template, we're still in the second act. The enemy has taken the North, Avalon is within their grasp, they've completed thier gigantic magical symbol on the Four Kingdoms, Mal has been exiled, and now he's been turned into a Samirreh. And there's still some bad luck to come in the next few chapters before our characters can finally start overcoming and triumphing in act 3.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Exile Chapter 33 Draft 4

I'm done with chapter 33 of the fourth draft of Exile and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

There were some moderate changes to this chapter. In this draft i'm trying to focus a lot more on Mal and Silmera's relationship, and also the fact that they're real people, not impervious, stony heroes that nothing can get the better of. To do this, I'm adding in more human traits for Silmera, the fact that she starts crying ater Mal storms out is a good example of that. There really needs to be a solid relationship between them, or at least a promise of one to come for Mal's actions at the end to make any sense. It's for her and really her alone that he basically walks right into the lion's den ready to do battle with anything that Fayt Nightfang can throw at him. It's for her sake that he makes his leap of faith, and if there's no basis for that happening, then it's rather meaningless and out of character for him.

Also in this chapter Silmera mentions Cain. As i've said before Exile is part of a massive storyline I've been putting together since middle school. it's a bunch of different storie that are seemingly unconnected, taking place in different worlds and different times, all in the same universe. And Cain is the ultimate antagonist in this gigantic storyline. He's literally the actual, biblical Cain from Genesis, son of adam and eve who killed his brother. For this he was cursed with immortality the "mark of Cain" and cast out to find his own way. He vowed revenge against god, but after several thousand years he forgot that vow and began just seeking a way to end his life. He's discovered that the only way that he can die is to make it so that nothing exists anymore, the end of all creation, including the hereafter. he makes several attempts at that, one of those attempts being Beyond the Lost Horizon. During the events of Beyond the Lost Horizon (and its two sequels) it's discovered that Cain has gained control of the Gate that Silmera talks about in this chapter, and has forced the universe into a time loop, traping all of the souls within it and grinding down creation until it finally unravels and everything ceases to exist. Of course our heroes stop him just in time in book 3, and he's imprisoned in the most perfect prison ever created, with Raven, the Northern sage to watch over him as his jailer forever. He's motivated by one desire and one desire alone, to end his own life, no matter the cost to himself or anyone else. There's a prophecy that says he will be caged, but he will then break free of his cage to have his last battle battle, and take the universe with him. You will see the beginnings of this in Spires of infinity. He only gets a mention in this story because though by this time he has started work on creating the Apostle, that really has nothing to do with the events of Exile, and since he's such a large part of the lore surrounding hte Gate he had to get that mention, but nothing more.

Anyway, it's 2 AM and I have to get up for work in 5 hrs, I'm going to bed.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Exile Chapter 32 Draft 4

done with the fourth draft of Exile chapter 32 and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Just minor changes here to clear up confusing language, and a bit more of Mal's developing feelings for Silmera, as well as his confusion over which girl in his life he should be with, the one everyone expects him to be with, or the one he actually loves. He's really in a sort of bind here, he's basically being forced to marry a girl he doesn't love because it was his father's dying wish, and it's what everyone has always expected of him, while he loves someone else who, thus far, appears not to even know he exists as a man. I imagine that would be a very frustrating position to find oneself in. And, this bit was added in here in now because, as George Lucas has proven rather well, you can't put two characters of opposing gender together and then just magically say they're in love at the end. You have to show emotions, empathize with each other, learn intimate details about themselves and each other, and go through things to test and nurture their relationship until they find they can't live without each other and would do anything to be together. Putting two young, good looking people together and having them fall in love because the script says so at the end is not the way to go about it. Good job George, way to ruin what could have been some really awesome movies.