Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I Am Nobody Chapter 23 Draft 2

I've finished another chapter of the second Draft of I Am Nobody today,a nd you can find it at the bottom of this page.

In the first draft, this chapter had a large section in the middle that was played for comedy.  I thought that it was a really good character building moment, that showed the relationship that Mia has with Steve.  HOWEVER, at the same time, the chapter just before this one is very, very dark and disturbing, and ends on a really down note.  So I felt that going straight from that into what is basically a comedy setpiece really broke up the tone and flow of the story, so I removed it.  Even though it is a great character moment, it just didn't fit here.  Maybe I can find somewhere earlier in the story to fit it on the next draft, because I really liked the scene, but shooting for laughs immediately after a chapter involving suicide, betrayal, horrible revelation, and a child pornographer getting his just deserts just didn't work.  The tone shift was just too objectionable.  It's better not to have the character moment at all, than to have such a 180 on the tone and direction of the story.

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