Monday, February 4, 2013

I Am Nobody Chapter 22 Draft 2

I've finished up my second draft of I Am Nobody Chapter 22 and you can find it at the bottom of this page.

In addition to cleaning up the general wording of the chapter as I have with all of the previous ones, and some clarifying on a few points, I removed about half a page from the end during Mia's reactions to Doctor Farnsworth's confession.  I felt that she was acting too masculine at this part.  She was acting the way I would act, rather than the way a teenaged girl would act.  After consulting with a couple of women on the matter, I've changed this part to be more subdued and emotional, rather than physically violent, and I have to say, it does seem a lot more realistic for her to behave this way rather than the way that I had her behaving.  Again, I am not, nor have I ever been a teenaged girl, so I do have parts that I'm running by my girlfriend, sister, and some friends to get their input on how Mia SHOULD act in whatever given situation.

No comments:

Post a Comment