Thursday, May 24, 2012

You sank my Battleship...

Going into Battleship, I knew it was going to be about the worst movie I would see all year.  I was wrong.  It is the worst movie I will see all decade.  It was too long, extremely boring, and full of characters that are either a.) complete idiots, or b.) completely unlikable in any way, shape or form.  It reminds me of a Michael Bay movie, lots of explosions, no story.  Except this one was worse somehow.  Michael Bay, for all his flaws, can at least keep my attention most of the time.  Whoever made this crap seemed like he was trying to be Michael Bay, and failing miserably at it, and that's really saying something when Michael Bay's style is basically to throw as many explosions in your face as humanly possible and call it a story.  But, you know what, anyone that has seen any of the previews for this movie could have told you this without even watching it.  What really surprises me is that someone actually believed in this movie so much that he shelled out 200 million dollars to make it, and was utterly shocked when it bombed at the box office.  Honestly, how could anyone be surprised about how badly this movie has done in theaters, taking into account how incredibly stupid the trailers made it look, and the fact that it's going against The Avengers in its third week?  Let this be a lesson to filmmakers that think that copying Michael Bay is a good idea: people want more than explosions and people screaming obnoxiously at the camera.  I can't believe a movie this retarded even got made in the first place.  It was such a waste of my life.  At least I didn't have to pay for my ticket.

1 comment:

  1. I'm still waiting for "Hungry, Hungry, Hippo" to make a release.