Friday, August 7, 2015

Adventures in Road Rage

Sooooooo, a little update on Memories of what never was.  I decided that the beginning I had planned out wasn't really working, and that it needed a bit of changing to something that better shows off who and what the characters are, and what they're capable of.  So that's what I've been working on and why I haven't posted anymore chapters, I'm outlining a new beginning, and decided what, from the original beginning, I want to keep, and what I want to toss out.

Now, onto Adventures in Road Rage...

So, I was driving home from work today, light up ahead of me turned yellow, I was too close to stop without screeching my tires, so I sped through.  Someone in a big white truck in the left turn lane on the other side, leans on his horn as I pass like he thinks he's important or something.  Because, apparently, having to wait 1.7 extra seconds to turn is just too much for him.  He does a U-Turn and follows me to the next light where I stop.  He gets out of his truck all red-faced with veins all bulging from places they're not normally supposed to bulge from.  Right off, seeing this dude in my side mirror coming for me, I can tell that he's got way more muscle than brains, and probably spent his childhood picking on kids like me.  If there's one thing in this world that I absolutely hate, it's a bully.  If there's two things, it's mayo and bullies, but if there's just one, it's definitely bullies.

I could tell that things were probably not going to turn out very well for me if I just sat there, so I reached into my pocket for my trusty, postal issue pepper spray.  We use it to get rid of dogs, but it works just as well on people.

The guy storms up to my window and starts yelling at me about something that I'm sure makes perfect sense to him, but makes absolutely no sense at all to a rational, even semi-intelligent human being.  I told him that I'd be sure to let him know when I start to care, and that I'm sure he'll get over himself one of these days.  I'm kind of a smartass that way.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, this big, brainless douchebag leaned in to punch me through my window, and I let him have a face full of pepper spray.  He made a very satisfying scream and dropped to one knee beside my door with his face in his hands.  This put his head at just the perfect height, and I really couldn't help myself, so I pushed my door open as hard as I could.  It hit him in the face, probably broke his nose from the amount of blood, and knocked him flat.  I jumped out, and grabbed a folding shovel I keep in my back seat in case I get stuck in the snow, and went about expressing my displeasure with his attitude and assumptions that I was just going to sit there and allow him to bully me.  I got in a couple good whacks before someone from another car grabbed me and stopped me.  Big, muscly bully was on the ground in a fetal position and crying by this time, and I really couldn't bring myself to sympathize with him or even feel all that bad about going postal on him.  I've long felt that bullies are worthless wastes of human life, and this guy was really no exception in my estimation.

So the police arrived shortly after, got the story from me, asked witnesses to verify that was what happened, and arrested the guy who tried to punch me, asking if I wanted to press assault charges.  Which I most certainly do.  I asked if I was in trouble or anything, and he told me that four witnesses saw the other guy take the first swing, so I was clearly defending myself, which is perfectly legal.  He eyed my work ID hanging around my neck and said, "remind me never to F%&k with a postal worker.  You're like half that guy's size and he's in the back of my car bawling like a baby."

So yeah, could I have handled that better?  Definitely.  But, you know what, I was bullied so much as a kid, that it just sets me off like nothing else can.  It's really the only thing that gets me mad enough to do violence to someone else.  In my experience, bullies will NEVER leave you alone, unless you beat them mercilessly into submission.  If this guy is going to be so childish as to think that real life is still elementary school and he can push around anyone smaller than he is just because, he's going to find out very fast that I've had enough of playing that game, and have absolutely no patience or tolerance for it.  I will fight dirty, and I will make sure that he understands that if he ever attacks me again, he is going to end up crying in the back of a police car, on his way to a holding cell for the night.  I had my fill of being bullied.  I will not be bullied again.

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