So I went out to the Green Lantern last night. This movie was supposed to be a mega-blockbuster summer action movie from DC comic studios to compete against Marvel's X-men: First Class. Unfortunately they did several things wrong. They showed too much of the CG effects in the trailers, making people have Star Wars prequel flashbacks, They used the DC Ultimate Universe storyline rather than the original, they put unneeded 3D effects into a movie that takes place almost entirely in the dark (3D needs a lot of light to really be effective, on dark scenes it's very hard to see), and they cast Ryan Reynolds as the Green Lantern. And of course, they put it up against X-men which both looked like a better movie, an WAS a better movie.
Now, I will admit, that it would ahve been impossible to make a Green Lantern movie without some use of CG effects, however, there are quite a few scenes in the movie where it's one actor in a completely blue room trying to figure out what he's supposed to be looking at and talking to, just like the Star Wars prequels. You don't NEED to use CG effects that much. They make the movie look sterile and fake, when the entire point of a movie like this is to make you believe that these things actually exist.
The Green Lantern cost $200,000,000 to make, and since it's release in mid june has only made back half of that. In other words, it flopped big time, leaving the production company a hundred million dollars in the hole.
Now for the uninitiated, DC comics has two sides. There is the DC Original Universe and the DC Ultimate Universe. The DC Original Universe is basically all of original versions of all of thier comic book heroes. The DC Ultimate Universe came along in the mid 90s when DC decided that they were sick of adding onto all of these 50 year old comics and it was time for a change. They ended every single one of their big series, including superman, batman, and the green lantern, and started them over with more modern artwork, and new storylines that the people of today would hopefully connect with better than the Original Universe. Many of these Ultimate Universe comics completely flopped and DC was forced to revive many of the Original Universe series, they also tried many more Ultimate Universe reboots, but most of them were never as popular as the Original Universe stories for those same heroes. One of the ones that did not see a return to the Original Universe was the Green Lantern. And this movie was based on the Ultimate Version of the Green Lantern rather than the Original Universe version. This is something that annoyed me from teh very beginning of the movie, because I never did like the Ultimate Universe Green Lantern very much, and I loved the Original Universe. Also, there are two Green Lanterns, there is Hal Jordan, and there is Guy Gardner, who took over as Green Lantern from Hal Jordan when the original writers decided that his character wasn't interesting enough, and the series needed something new to interest comicbook fans. Guy Gardner is BY FAR the more entertaining of the two, btw.
The movie wasn't completely horrible. It did have some good parts, but the bad outweighed the good. Of course I was biased from the beginning becuse they used the Ultimate Universe storyline. Their casting was horrible, I get that they wanted a sarcastic douchebag that could crack jokes to be the Green Lantern, but there's plenty of those around that aren't as goofy as Ryan Reynolds. He's not superhero material, and he plays the role like it's another gross out comedy, when there are no gross out jokes. At least half of the movie takes place in completely CGed environments like the Star Wars prequels, and it looks just as bad and fake as they did. There are too many completely CGed characters, including the entire green lanter corp beside Ryan Reynolds and the guy he got his ring from (who, funny enough, was played by the guy who was Jango Fett/the clones in the star wars prequels). The thing that put it over the edge as unredeemable to me was that his suit was completely CG. I get that they wanted to have the animated glow on it and all, but you see, there's this thing called rotoscoping where you add an animated glow to objects already on screen, and it both a.) looks more real, and b.) costs way less to do than CGing his suit on every time he wears it.
There was very little in the way of character developement, which is odd, because they spent most of the movie supposedly developing the characters. The villain is completely flat, with no personality and absolutely no reason given to be evil. A cardboard cutout might have given a more believable performance as the love interest, and Ryan Reynolds can't decide whether he's taking the role seriously or not.
They got Hal Jordan's personality completely wrong in an effort to make him a more likable character. In the comics he's supposed to be a complete douchbag that cares about no one but himself, and the extent that he doesn't give a crap, and the lengths to which he will go to avoid having to do anything that doesn't directly benefit him are normally hilarious. You can make an unlikeable character likeable with the right writers and the right actor. Look at Ironman. Tony Stark is not a likable person, but the writing and the performance given by Robert Downey Jr. make him entertaining enough that you don't care he's a sarcastic dickhole. The Green Lantern is supposed to be the same way. He's an unlikable, sarcastic dickhole, but he's usually written in such a way that it's funny and entertaining. Seriously, if your writers aren't talented enough to pull something like that off in a movie, FIRE THEM AND GET NEW WRITERS THAT ARE!!! Don't completely change the character to fit the movie. I always liked the Guy Gardner Green Lantern more, because he was even worse than Hal Jordan in not caring. Half the time he wouldn't even wear his suit becuse he just didn't care who knew he was the Green Lantern, and that was really funny.
Anyway, Green Lantern wasn't horrible, and someone who has no clue what I've been talking about for most of this mini-review will probably find it rather enjoyable, but to comicbook fans this movie was basically an attrocity. It's worth seeing once, just to know how bad it was, and to see Tim Robbins finally returning to movies, but wait for it to be at the dollar theaters, or redbox/netflix it.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thundercats remake
When I was like 10, Thundercats was one of my favorite cartoons. It was freaking awesome. So, when I saw that they were remaking the series I thought it could be either incredibly awesome, or incredibly awful.
Fortunately, it was incredibly awesome. I you liked the original, or are looking for an awesome animated show to watch, check out cartoon network's remake of Thundercats.
The show is basically completely different, about the only things that are the same are the characters and the villain. Rather than having a technologically advanced race of cat people in space fleeing their dying world for a new one, they are a more primitive culture without technology overrun by an ancient enemy thought defeated. Their entire race is almost exterminated or enslaved, and a few survivors must search for a book with the secrets to defeat the villain.
I liked it a lot, it had pretty good character developement for a cartoon on cartoon network, the animation and music were excellent, and the voice actors were pretty good too. The original Lion-o made a cameo as the new Loin-o's father. And it had quite a few other good references to the older series without trying too hard to copy it, or remake it exactly as it was. It's its own show that remembers where it came from let's say. So yeah, check it out.
Fortunately, it was incredibly awesome. I you liked the original, or are looking for an awesome animated show to watch, check out cartoon network's remake of Thundercats.
The show is basically completely different, about the only things that are the same are the characters and the villain. Rather than having a technologically advanced race of cat people in space fleeing their dying world for a new one, they are a more primitive culture without technology overrun by an ancient enemy thought defeated. Their entire race is almost exterminated or enslaved, and a few survivors must search for a book with the secrets to defeat the villain.
I liked it a lot, it had pretty good character developement for a cartoon on cartoon network, the animation and music were excellent, and the voice actors were pretty good too. The original Lion-o made a cameo as the new Loin-o's father. And it had quite a few other good references to the older series without trying too hard to copy it, or remake it exactly as it was. It's its own show that remembers where it came from let's say. So yeah, check it out.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Adventures in Mail Delivery - Part 2: Revenge of the Stupid
So, like people at any job, every now and then crazy things happen to Mail Carriers as well. Such as a stray horse walking up and trying to eat mail out of your hands. Here are some of the crazy things that have happened in the last few days at the West Jordan Post Office.
First of all, something that didn't happen to me personally, but the post master and the supervisors have been making sure everyone knows about so it doesn't happen again. We're currently understaffed, meaning on saturdays several routes have to be split up and people have to deliver a route and a half. We were so short handed last saturday that we actually had to borrow a weekend carrier (the job I used to have before getting my not quite route) from another office, a dude that has been working for the post office in this job for almost twelve years. He was on the easiest route, so we all figured that someone that experienced would be able to figure it all out on his own. He sorted the mail out quickly enough in the morning, and got out of the office faster than I did, as I had to sort two routes that day.
The gearshift in mail trucks trucks is rather odd. It's not like normal automatic transmissions which usually go P R N D 2 3. The gearshift on the postal trucks goes P D N R 2 3. The retarded logic behind this is that mail trucks have HUGE blind spots and they don't want us backing up, so they put the reverse gear further away from park to discourage it. Stupid, yes, I know. This leads to a huge design flaw in that the vibrations of the engine when idling in park can actually cause the gears to shift from park to drive, which leads to runaway vehicles.
It is post office policy ever since they started using these vehicles rather than the Jeeps that every time you get out of your vehicle, you put it in park, curb the wheels, turn the engine off, and set the parking break, even if you're just walking 2 feet to reach a blocked mailbox. That way there's no chance of the vehicle getting away from you. If putting it in park, setting the brake and turning the engine off all fail, it's angled at the curb and will stop rolling when it hits it.
Anyway, this guy that we borrowed actually managed to run HIMSELF over with his own mail truck. There's a Monty Python sketch that is an obstacle course to determine the twit of the year and as a joke one of the contestants ran himself over with his own car, because the impossibility and ridiculousness of it makes it hilarious. But this guy actually managed to do it.
He pulled up to a mailbox that was blocked, someone parked in front of it. He didn't turn the engine off, didn't curb the wheels, and didn't set the parking brake. He took two steps away from the vehicle and that was all the time that the vibrations from the engine idling needed to pop it from park into drive and the truck started coasting down the steep hill he was on. Naturally he ran after it, but it was starting to pick up speed, with a final sprint he managed to reach the door and tried to jump into the seat. He missed, fell out, and the back tire rolled over both his legs at the thigh, breaking one and severely bruising the other.
AND THEN he got back up, on his broken leg and proceeded to chase the runaway vehicle the rest of the way down the hill until he collapsed from the pain, only to watch his truck zoom miraculously untouched through a busy intersection, and crash into the side of a maverick.
Needless to say, he's become the joke of the West Jordan Post Office this week. Crashing a vehicle due to a rollaway like he had is one of the few things that you can be fired for at the Post Office without the supervisors having to jump through hoops for the unions. Your vehicle rolls away on you due to negligence like he showed, you're gone. Especially if you manage to total your vehicle in the process. Even the unions recognize the need to get rid of people who will endanger themselves and the lives and property of other people in that way. So this genius returned to his own post office monday to fill out paperwork for workman's comp, thinking that he was going to coast by because it wasn't his post office it happened at to find that he was now unemployed.
Honestly, you'd think someone that has worked for the post office as long as he has would know the value of following the rules, especially when they drill them into you in weekly staff meetings.
This next story actually did happen to me.
So, yesterday I was delivering mail to a row of community boxes. There were four of them in a row, with a parking lot to one side, and houses across the street. I had my mail truck parked in the street between the mail boxes and the house across from them rather than in the parking lot so I wouldn't have to back up. As I'm delivering my mail I hear something hit the side of the truck. I look around and see nothing, so I go back to work. Then I hear it again. It sounded like a kid chucking a rock at the side of it, so I looked around for kids, but didn't see any, and went back to work.
Then something slammed into the lens of my sunglasses hard enough to crack it and knock the glasses off my face, and I hear a kid laughing his butt off. I look up and see a 5 year old in an attic window with a BB gun. Naturally I'm pissed, because those were prescription sunglasses that cost me $180. A new lens will probably run a good $50 if not more.
Ducking another BB, I get back in the truck where I'm out of the line of fire, and call my supervisor. Meanwhile the kid continues to pelt the truck. It rings loud enough on the inside that my supervisor can actually hear it over the phone. She tells me to call the police, and says that she will be there in 15 mins with a postal inspector (who, by the way, have the same authority as US marshals).
I call the police, and they show up about the same time as my supervisor and the postal inspector. The kid sees the police car and knows he's in big trouble so he disappears from the window and I explain to everyone what happened, show them my broken glasses, and we all walk over together to the house an knock on the door.
The boy's father opens the door. He is the epitome of white trash. Shoulder length hair, shirtless, hairy chest, side burns all the way down his jaw, porn stash, tattoo of a naked chick on his shoulder, and a beer in one hand.
The policeman explains what has happened to the guy, shows him my glasses, and takes him over to see the dents in the side of the truck that the BBs made. Then we walk back to his house.
He says, "So why the hell you talkin' to me 'bout it? I ain't the one that did it."
The police officer explains that as the child is under age and in his care he is responsible for his every action, and that assaulting a government employeed on the job with a weapon, even a BB gun is a federal offense for which he, not his son, will be held accountable for.
He just laughs, takes a swig of his beer and says, "Well hell then, arresst the little bastard." like my coming half an inch from being blinded in one eye while trying to do my job is just a big joke to him.
The policeman looks at the postal inspector. The postal inspector looks at the policeman and they both shrug. It was so perfect that I'd swear it had been scripted ahead of time if I didn't know better.
"You're under arrest for negligence of a child and the assault of a government employee."
That wiped the smile off of his face. He threw his beer at the cop and tried to close the door, but the postal inpector pulled his gun and blocked the door from closing with it then kicked it back open like a freakin' action movie hero, and proceeded to tackle the guy to the floor and cuff him while the beer soaked cop began reading him his rights.
Long story short, the dude was arrested and taken off to lockup. I get to testify at a hearing tomorrow, and child services were called and the 4 children in the house taken into custody because he was the only adult present, and had been so incredibly negligent in his parently duties. And I get a completely AWESOME story to tell. And I plan to make that dickwad pay for my glasses to be fixed too. And the very best part is that this man now has a lifetime hold on his mail, meaning we will NEVER deliver to him again for the rest of his life. If he wants his mail he has to pick it up at the post office, and if he misses more than 10 days in a row we return it all to sender.
So yeah, there's a whole lotta stupid in the world. And people wonder why I profess to dislike people in general...
First of all, something that didn't happen to me personally, but the post master and the supervisors have been making sure everyone knows about so it doesn't happen again. We're currently understaffed, meaning on saturdays several routes have to be split up and people have to deliver a route and a half. We were so short handed last saturday that we actually had to borrow a weekend carrier (the job I used to have before getting my not quite route) from another office, a dude that has been working for the post office in this job for almost twelve years. He was on the easiest route, so we all figured that someone that experienced would be able to figure it all out on his own. He sorted the mail out quickly enough in the morning, and got out of the office faster than I did, as I had to sort two routes that day.
The gearshift in mail trucks trucks is rather odd. It's not like normal automatic transmissions which usually go P R N D 2 3. The gearshift on the postal trucks goes P D N R 2 3. The retarded logic behind this is that mail trucks have HUGE blind spots and they don't want us backing up, so they put the reverse gear further away from park to discourage it. Stupid, yes, I know. This leads to a huge design flaw in that the vibrations of the engine when idling in park can actually cause the gears to shift from park to drive, which leads to runaway vehicles.
It is post office policy ever since they started using these vehicles rather than the Jeeps that every time you get out of your vehicle, you put it in park, curb the wheels, turn the engine off, and set the parking break, even if you're just walking 2 feet to reach a blocked mailbox. That way there's no chance of the vehicle getting away from you. If putting it in park, setting the brake and turning the engine off all fail, it's angled at the curb and will stop rolling when it hits it.
Anyway, this guy that we borrowed actually managed to run HIMSELF over with his own mail truck. There's a Monty Python sketch that is an obstacle course to determine the twit of the year and as a joke one of the contestants ran himself over with his own car, because the impossibility and ridiculousness of it makes it hilarious. But this guy actually managed to do it.
He pulled up to a mailbox that was blocked, someone parked in front of it. He didn't turn the engine off, didn't curb the wheels, and didn't set the parking brake. He took two steps away from the vehicle and that was all the time that the vibrations from the engine idling needed to pop it from park into drive and the truck started coasting down the steep hill he was on. Naturally he ran after it, but it was starting to pick up speed, with a final sprint he managed to reach the door and tried to jump into the seat. He missed, fell out, and the back tire rolled over both his legs at the thigh, breaking one and severely bruising the other.
AND THEN he got back up, on his broken leg and proceeded to chase the runaway vehicle the rest of the way down the hill until he collapsed from the pain, only to watch his truck zoom miraculously untouched through a busy intersection, and crash into the side of a maverick.
Needless to say, he's become the joke of the West Jordan Post Office this week. Crashing a vehicle due to a rollaway like he had is one of the few things that you can be fired for at the Post Office without the supervisors having to jump through hoops for the unions. Your vehicle rolls away on you due to negligence like he showed, you're gone. Especially if you manage to total your vehicle in the process. Even the unions recognize the need to get rid of people who will endanger themselves and the lives and property of other people in that way. So this genius returned to his own post office monday to fill out paperwork for workman's comp, thinking that he was going to coast by because it wasn't his post office it happened at to find that he was now unemployed.
Honestly, you'd think someone that has worked for the post office as long as he has would know the value of following the rules, especially when they drill them into you in weekly staff meetings.
This next story actually did happen to me.
So, yesterday I was delivering mail to a row of community boxes. There were four of them in a row, with a parking lot to one side, and houses across the street. I had my mail truck parked in the street between the mail boxes and the house across from them rather than in the parking lot so I wouldn't have to back up. As I'm delivering my mail I hear something hit the side of the truck. I look around and see nothing, so I go back to work. Then I hear it again. It sounded like a kid chucking a rock at the side of it, so I looked around for kids, but didn't see any, and went back to work.
Then something slammed into the lens of my sunglasses hard enough to crack it and knock the glasses off my face, and I hear a kid laughing his butt off. I look up and see a 5 year old in an attic window with a BB gun. Naturally I'm pissed, because those were prescription sunglasses that cost me $180. A new lens will probably run a good $50 if not more.
Ducking another BB, I get back in the truck where I'm out of the line of fire, and call my supervisor. Meanwhile the kid continues to pelt the truck. It rings loud enough on the inside that my supervisor can actually hear it over the phone. She tells me to call the police, and says that she will be there in 15 mins with a postal inspector (who, by the way, have the same authority as US marshals).
I call the police, and they show up about the same time as my supervisor and the postal inspector. The kid sees the police car and knows he's in big trouble so he disappears from the window and I explain to everyone what happened, show them my broken glasses, and we all walk over together to the house an knock on the door.
The boy's father opens the door. He is the epitome of white trash. Shoulder length hair, shirtless, hairy chest, side burns all the way down his jaw, porn stash, tattoo of a naked chick on his shoulder, and a beer in one hand.
The policeman explains what has happened to the guy, shows him my glasses, and takes him over to see the dents in the side of the truck that the BBs made. Then we walk back to his house.
He says, "So why the hell you talkin' to me 'bout it? I ain't the one that did it."
The police officer explains that as the child is under age and in his care he is responsible for his every action, and that assaulting a government employeed on the job with a weapon, even a BB gun is a federal offense for which he, not his son, will be held accountable for.
He just laughs, takes a swig of his beer and says, "Well hell then, arresst the little bastard." like my coming half an inch from being blinded in one eye while trying to do my job is just a big joke to him.
The policeman looks at the postal inspector. The postal inspector looks at the policeman and they both shrug. It was so perfect that I'd swear it had been scripted ahead of time if I didn't know better.
"You're under arrest for negligence of a child and the assault of a government employee."
That wiped the smile off of his face. He threw his beer at the cop and tried to close the door, but the postal inpector pulled his gun and blocked the door from closing with it then kicked it back open like a freakin' action movie hero, and proceeded to tackle the guy to the floor and cuff him while the beer soaked cop began reading him his rights.
Long story short, the dude was arrested and taken off to lockup. I get to testify at a hearing tomorrow, and child services were called and the 4 children in the house taken into custody because he was the only adult present, and had been so incredibly negligent in his parently duties. And I get a completely AWESOME story to tell. And I plan to make that dickwad pay for my glasses to be fixed too. And the very best part is that this man now has a lifetime hold on his mail, meaning we will NEVER deliver to him again for the rest of his life. If he wants his mail he has to pick it up at the post office, and if he misses more than 10 days in a row we return it all to sender.
So yeah, there's a whole lotta stupid in the world. And people wonder why I profess to dislike people in general...
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
A River Runs Through It...
...my parking lot that is. I didn't think to take a picture of it with my phone until later on when the water had gone down, but the murray canal runs right past the parking lot of my apartment complex. The levels have been really high the last few weeks already because of melting snow in the mountains. With the ridiculous amount of rain today the level rose enough to flood the lower part of the apartment parking lot, and part of the hospital parking lot. Vine Street was under a foot and a half of water where the canal goes under it, and the trax parking lot also got flooded. It was freaking AWESOME!!!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Captain America
Captain America was awesome!!! Like Thor it didn't overuse CG effects, and gave character developement as much care as it did the action scenes. I did not see it in 3D because a.) Im boycotting 3D, and b.) being half blind in one eye 3D isn't in 3D for me, it only looks blurry. It's definitely one of the better done comic book movies, and certainly one of the better movies to come out this year. It felt more like the older adventure movies like Raider's of the Lost Ark rather than a modern day special effects brain dead action movie, and I really liked that. They even make a couple allusions to raiders of the lost ark for laughs, which I found funny... but aparently I was the only one in the audience that got the jokes, because i was the only one laughing at them. I had to explain them to the girl I went to the show with afterward. Come on people, it's freakin indiana jones!!! who hasn't seen Indiana Jones?
Hugo Weaving (Elrond in Lord of the Rings, Agent Smith in the Matrix, V in V for Vendetta) is perfect as the Red Skull, and you can tell he's having the time of his life with the role, which makes him a really fun character in the movie. The makeup effects are WAY better than older captain america movies too, he actually looks like his head is a red skull. The guy they got for Captain America is pretty good too, i forget his name. It was a little weird to have his head CGed onto a scrawny guy's body before he became Captain America, but most of the time they did a good enough job of it that you can't tell it's been CGed. There are a few times, though, when it's really obvious and looks really strange.
Anyway, I really liked it, and I definitely reccomend it to anyone looking for a fun action adventure movie this summer. And remember to stay until the end of the credits there is a teaser trailer for the Avengers afterward.
Hugo Weaving (Elrond in Lord of the Rings, Agent Smith in the Matrix, V in V for Vendetta) is perfect as the Red Skull, and you can tell he's having the time of his life with the role, which makes him a really fun character in the movie. The makeup effects are WAY better than older captain america movies too, he actually looks like his head is a red skull. The guy they got for Captain America is pretty good too, i forget his name. It was a little weird to have his head CGed onto a scrawny guy's body before he became Captain America, but most of the time they did a good enough job of it that you can't tell it's been CGed. There are a few times, though, when it's really obvious and looks really strange.
Anyway, I really liked it, and I definitely reccomend it to anyone looking for a fun action adventure movie this summer. And remember to stay until the end of the credits there is a teaser trailer for the Avengers afterward.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Moving Date Set ^^V
I've got my new lease all worked out with the apartment management and it looks like my moving date is set. I'll be moving on August 11th (and probably the 12th too) which is a thursday and friday. it will be soooo nice to have my own bedroom again... and not to be living next to the inconsiderate prick that calls himself my neighbor. If anyone would care to volunteer their services in hauling my junk across the yard (about a grand total of about 300 feet or so) any help would be welcome. Basically all we'd really need help with would be the dressers and bookshelves, but as my dad likes to say, "Many hands make light work" and the more people we have to move boxes the less time it will take.
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