Friday, February 3, 2012

Adventures in McDonald's Ordering

So, today I was at McDonalds. Yes, I occasionally eat there even though the food is, quite frankly, not very good, and certainly not good for you. Mostly I go when I forget to pack myself a lunch for work, or am out of bread or something and didn't quite work up the motivation to get some more. Why McDonalds out of all the places, you ask? Well, that's easy, becaue they offer a 20% discount to all postal workers during the day if we show our postal ID, making their dollar menu the 80 cent menu instead, which is always a plus.

Anyway, I went inside because it's impossible to take a mail truck through the drive through, the driver side being on the wrong side and all. As I stood in line I decided to splurge and get a combo meal rather than stuff off of the dollar menu. When I got to the counter, the lady behind it, a mid-twenties blonde chick who is glaring like she means to bite the next person that talks to her asks me what I want. Exactly like that. "What do you want!"

What passes for food in the McDonalds universe, obviously, why else would I be there?

I told her that I wanted a number one combo and she looks like I just told her that she was ugly and smelled bad.

"WE do NOT have a number one combo," she snaped at me.

I pointed to the board behind her, to show her that they clearly do have a number one combo and I could actually see the flames of hatred begin burning in her eyes.

"We have a number one EXTRA VALUE MEAL," she practically screamed at me. "NOT a number one combo meal."

By this time I was getting sympathetic glances from other customers around the dining room. Obviously some of them had gotten the same lecture from her.

When I pulled out my postal ID for my discount she looked like she wanted to strangle me with it.

Ok... First of all. Extra Value Meal, Combo, what's the difference? They're just differet words for the same thing. She knew what I meant when I said combo, so I obviously communicated my desires to her in an understandable way. If you know what I mean, and there really isn't any difference between the words... why the anger? Seriously, you work at McDonalds lady, chill out, it's not the end of the freaking world if someone doesn't use the term Extra Value Meal. I mean, of all the things to flip out over, why choose that? Surely there are far more annoying things about working there to go nuclear over? It just seems completely irrational to me.

Second of all, I know that working behind a counter at a cash register with the stupidest people on earth standing in line in front of you is not the ideal career for generally anyone. Not being a people person myself, I know how aggravating other people can get, and I've had her job before. Oh it was behind the concession stand at a movie theater rather than a fast food joint, but it's basically the same thing. I hated each and every minute of it. But you know what? I can at least fake like I give a crap what those people have to say to me for the sake of keeping my job. Fake smiles are easy, fake cheerfulness is easy too. Pretending like you enjoy the most god-awful, demeaning, and most torturous job in the world is not a hard thing to do. I have years of experience doing it. So why the open hostility toward every customer in the entire place? Faking like you care is easy, maintining anger like that is hard. If you can't do it, find another line of work.

Third of all, where was her manager? Taking a nap? Seriously, she was hissing, growling and yelling loud enough to be heard through a locked office door. Actually, now that I think about it, the manager was likely hiding from her in fear for his life. Had I been the manager I'd have sent her home so as not to be responsible for anyone she kills, even if I had to work the counter myself to be rid of her. Her behavior is only hurting your business, and it's an extremely stupid business practie to just stand by and let her. Fire her or send her home and do her job yourself if need be, but get her out from behind that counter you incompetant weakling!

And finally, fourth. If something outside of work was affecting her mood to that degree why not ask to be excused, call in sick for the day, get someone to cover her shift, or do what I do, leave that crap at the door and do my job?

I've never encountered such hostility from someone in such an important customer service role. I was completely taken aback by it, and the more I sat there watching her scream at people, the more amused I became by it. Either she's trying to get fired, something bad happened to her earlier in the day, or she forgot to take her crazy pills today. I considered blowing her a kiss as I left, but figured I enjoy my balls right where they are and didn't feel much like having them ripped off today.

1 comment:

  1. Your last sentence kills me. Love it. You should come over sometime and hang out. We haven't seen you in ages. Call Richard, kay?