Free Will

So I recently had an argument with a longtime internet friend who both happens to be gay, and happens to live in california. He, like many pro-gay marriage people blame the LDS church (aka the Mormons) of which I am a member, for the california ban on gay marriage. He only recently discovered that I am LDS and wrote me a very scathing e-mail saying that he never wanted to speak to me again.

Now, before I start I should probably outline some of my basic beliefs on homosexuality. I am a christian. I have been raised in a christian house, and have christian beliefs. One of those beliefs is that homosexuality is wrong. Frankly, the thought of myself romantically involved with another man is rather revolting to me. That being said, I also believe that when Christ said "love thy neighbor" he did not mean love thy righteous neighbors only. He included EVERYONE in that statement. He didn't give stipulations. Just because someone does something that I personally believe is wrong, does not make them a bad person. It does not make them unworthy of my respect, or my friendship. I am normally very accepting of what I see as flaws in my friends and loved ones because I am about as far from perfect as a person can possibly get. I am often quick to point out or mock flaws in people i don't know or care about, and that is one of my many flaws. And as a disclaimer, everything i say are my views alone, and i am in no way in a position to speak for my church. My views may be contradictory to their current policies. In a perfect world they would not be, but this is hardly a perfect world and i am hardly perfect myself.

I also believe that this life is a test. We're dumped here with all the temptations you could dream of, and a few that you would never imagine in yor wildest dreams until they jump you in a back alley and steal your wallet at knife point, and given this wonderful thing called free will. God pointed to the world and said, "Go, choose your own way, but choose wisely and follow my commandments, for only in doing so can you ever return to me. I will not interfere. You are free to choose your own path and rise or fall as your decisions dictate." That sounds suspiciously like the speach the old crusader in the last Indiana Jones movie that counted said, but whatever. It is not my place to tell you how to live your life. It is my place to live my own life. If you are gay, that's your business, and something that you can take up with the almighty on the last day. It is not my place to live your life for you and make your decisions. It's frankly none of my business. What kind of test would it be if someone else gave you all of the answers. How much would you learn? How much woul you grow? How could you progress and become more than what you are if I dictate how you are to live your life for you?

Anyway, while it may be my personal belief that homosexuality is a sin, that does not make every gay person out there evil. It does not mean that i believe they are all bound for hell, an abomination that must be ostracized at any cost, or at least ignored as though they do not exist, undeserving of respect, or love, or friendship. It means that I disagree with the way that they live their lives, but as an adult, I can see past that disagreement to the person behind it. Gay people happen. There are many of them out there. Ignoring the fact as inconveniant to your beliefs, or forcing them to adhere to your beliefs is not going to make them go away. I have a cousin that is gay, and given that his parents are what i commonly refer to as religious fanatics--the type of people who have never had a single thought of their own in their entire life, and do everything that their church leaders and hte republican party tell them to without question--I have a great deal of respect for him and his finally standing up to them and telling them just what is what. They disowned him for it of course, and refuse to acknoledge that he was ever born, and that just goes to show how hypocritical they are in their faith.

I also have had several friends and coworkers that are gay. I do not hate them, or refuse to work with them, or condemn their lifestyle at every opportunity, because their lives are theirs to live. Their mistakes are theirs to make. It is not my place to judge whether or not the choices they have made and the lives that they lead are right or wrong. And thank god for that. Can you imagine having to be the one sitting in judgement over mankind? I'd just as soon not, thank you very much.

Now, onto the subject of gay marriage and the california ban. This is a very charged subject, and really, whatever I say on the matter someone somewhere will probably be offended by it in some way. I've always been very blunt, and who cares who I offend with my words. It is my belief that marriage is a sacred rite between a man and a woman. That is not to say that I am completely against gay people being allowed to marry. It is the standpoint of my religion that allowing gay people to marry and still call it marriage is an affront to sacred rituals of our faith. However, I also see the need to allow for free will. Removing a person's choice of whether or not to marry someone of the same gender is the same as making the choice for them. You're taking away their right to choose their way through life. That is a god given right, and whether or not you agree or disagree with the choices someone makes with their free will, they are still THEIR choices to make. Banning gay marriage removes the choice, and therfore negates free will, which in turn negates the entire purpose of being placed in the situation where you would have to make the choice in the first place, which is the great and marvelous plan of the almighty god. You can see the dilema here. On one hand marriage is a sacred rite between a man and a woman, but banning those who wish to marry those of the same gender from doing so goes against what life is all about.

Now, as for those like my friend, who is extremely angry at the LDS faith for their part in getting gay mariage banned in california, there is something that you must realize. Your side of the argument is not the only side of the argument. Your side of the argument is not necessarily the right side of the argumen because it is the side that you are on. The same goes for everyone else. It is true that the LDS church gave a great deal of funding toward TV ads and fliers that led to the ultimate banning of gay marriage. It is also true that they were not the only ones responsible. The Roman Catholic church had a large hand in this, as did several other smaller christian religions. These different factions of christianity came together over a common goal, and the result was a vote in which the overwhelming majority of the citizens of california voted against gay marriage. Ultimately it was the people themselves that chose how to vote. No one forced them to choose one way or another. They exercised their free will to choose. Would the vote have gone the same way had there not been so much talk from religions against it? who can say? Were they right in doing it? That's not for me to say one way or another and my current opinion on the matter is not anyone else's business.

I am sorry that a right was taken away from many people who believe that their happiness has been unjustly torn away from them. But I personally had nothing to do with it, and should not be blamed for what others have done. Had I been a resident of california i would have voted to allow gay marriage, for reasons outlined in this rant. The thing you have to realize is that as you are--or were, until the ban--able to make your own choices, so is everyone else in the world. You may not always agree with the choices of others, and those choices may sometimes hurt you deeply, but you can't force everyone else to only do what you think is best. You're turning around and doing to them the same thing that they did to you. I understand the act of finding a conveniant target for your anger and frustration. I do the same thing on occasion. However, the people of California exercised their own free will and voted to ban gay marriage. The people who funded the advertisements that influenced their choices did the same. It all comes down to people exercising their god given right to choose their own path. They may have been wrong to remove this particular choice from before you, but if they were, they will face judgement for it, just as you will for your treatment of them in venting your anger over it.

I find it very amusing that when the overwhelming majority of californians voted against gay marriage, there are so many people being so vocal about what an attrocity it is. Either some people are complete douchebag hypocrite liars taht voted to ban gay marriage and now are speaking out against it, or there are only a very few people that are actually against banning gay marriage and making a big enough noise about it as to seem like there are many more of them. If so many people voted against gay marriage why are there so many people condemning the ban? Where did they come from? Why didn't they bother to go out and vote FOR it? If so many people believe so strongly about it, and aren't being hypocrites that voted one thing and say another, then why did the ban pass? But that's not the point. The ultimate point of this post is to say that it did pass, and I didn't have anything to do with it one way or another.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I disagree with homosexuality, but I disagree even more with curtailing the rights of those who are homosexuals. Though they may live their lives in a way that is contrary to your beliefs, they are still people, and deserve to be treated as such, and it is not for you to place judgement upon them for their lifestyle choices. You have to realize that there are always going to be people that are different from you out there, and though you may believe with all your heart that your way is the correct way, not everyone is going to see it like that. Gay people aren't going to stop being gay because you think it's wrong. Most of them wouldn't change the way they are given the chance, and you can either be understanding of that, or you can be a hate filled jackass that is contrary to your own christian beliefs (if that applies). I hope this goes a little ways toward patching things up between me and my friend. I've known him for over 10 years and I would hate to lose someone whose opinions on my writing have been so extremely helpful during that time. I value his friendship and losing it over something stupid that someone else has done would be a tragedy.