Thursday, January 13, 2011

Exile Chapter 38 draft 4

On a roll today BWAAHAAHAA, the fourth draft of Exile chapter 38 is done and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Ok, this chapter had a lot of continuity issues to deal with because of the changes I've made in Mal and Silmera's relationship and Mal and Lilia's relationship. Also I added a big chunk of developement for the relationship between Mal and Silmera.

My sister started reading this story and one of her complaints was that in an earlier chapter (and in this one, though she hasn't read it yet) that the way I have Silmera describe being pregnant to Mal is not realistic. Ok, for one, my sister, much like me, has never been pregnant either so how would she know? And second, every single word i write on the subject in this story comes almost word for word from the mouth of an old highschool friend of mine who just gave birth to her third son on sunday. Congrats Anna, btw =) (and yes Anna in this story is named after her, and looks something like her, blonde hair and green eyes) I wanted for Silmera's descriptions of it to be authentic, instead of a man trying to describe something he can never experience, so I asked the most conveniant pregnant person I had to hand, and everything that Silmera says on the matter comes straight from her mouth, not mine. Also some of Weasel's thoughts and feelings on the matter as well. Thus I prove, yet again, that my sister has no idea what she's talking about =P

I also finally decided to tell how Silmera's uncle died. He is a major character in the story of the Demon Queen Marael, and though i've always known how he died, I've never actually put it into the story. I only said taht it was an accident, which is partly true. Let me explain. Silmera was a child, being raised by her aunt and uncle in Zion. Heretics stop aging normally when they hit puberty so, even though she was twenty years old, she still looked like she was twelve, and somewhat still thought of herself as a child. While trying to play with other children, she underestimated her own strength, and another child was hurt severly as a result. It was a complete accident and she even carried the hurt child home, crying over what she'd done. That's the accident she's talking about when she said her uncle died in an accident. The parents of the hurt child roused a mob of angry people and they came for Silmera in the night to kill her for being the Demon Queen Marael's daughter, using the hurt child as proof of her evil nature. Before they knew what was happening, their home was set on fire, and Silmera's aunt was killed when the roof caved in. Silmera's uncle threw her out the back door and told her to run, leave the city, and never come back while he held the mob back to give her time to escape to safety. This is why Silmera has never returned to Zion until now, because she was respecting her Uncle's last request. Anyway, the mob caught them trying to get away through the back allies, and Owen stayed behind to hold them back while Silmera ran. He'd vowed after the war that he would never draw his sword to spill human blood again no matter what, so he went to meet them unarmed. He fought to pacify, not to hurt or kill, and in doing so he left himself open for the first blade to slide into his flesh. Once first blood was drawn the mob fell on him with all their ferocity, stabbing him over and over again, while Silmera watched from further down the alley in the shadows, unable to do a thing to help. He yelled to her to run, and then he fell dead to dozens of wounds that would have killed a human on their own. For most of his life he'd fought against the established government and the Templar Order, and only in the war for the fate of humanity had he realized how wrong he'd been. He started doing everything he possibly could in order to redeem himself, and he saw ensuring that Marael's daughter made it to safety as his last final act of atonement, for which he gave his life. Though her mother was the most evil being ever known, he'd raised Silmera and knew that she was pure, and innocent, and had nothing of her mother's evil taint in her.

It should also be of note that Silmera's aunt and uncle were not married. Owen was Auren's son, and Auren was the son of Vincent who was the son of the Northern Sage. Sarael, her aunt was Marael's twin sister, and daughter of the Northern Sage. They developed a friendship and fondness for each other during the war, though on a completely non-romantic level, and after the war they decided to live together and both help to raise Silmera so the child would have both a male and female hand in her developement. They were both related to Silmera by blood and related to each other by blood as well. Sarael actually married someone else, but he died in the last battle of the War of Zion, and Owen thought it was his duty to care for her now that she was a widow.

Silmera has always felt extremely guilty for the death of her aunt and uncle (who is really more of a cousin, but she's always called him uncle) for most of her life she's been running away from it, and trying to convince herself that he died in an accident rather than at the hands of a mob to whom he was once a hero.

And yes, most of my characters have backstories as detailed as this, even minor ones like Silmera's aunt and uncle who are barely even mentioned. It's part of my brainstorming process before I start writing.

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