Ok, seriously, we live at over 6000 feet above sea level. No matter how dry it is here, we are still going to get snow. It snows every year, and often MUCH worse than it did today. If you don't know how to drive in a single inch of snow, YOU'RE LIVING IN THE WRONG STATE RETARD!!!
So, my brother's car has broken down, and like the lazy tard that he is, he's taking his sweet time finding a new one. He's had loan money sitting in his bank account for over a month now, and still no car. So it falls to me, as his room mate to drive him to and from work. Normally, this drive takes 10 minutes either way, for a round trip of 20 mins despite rush hour traffic. But, oh, god forbid there should be a SINGLE INCH of snow on the ground. Oh dear god, what do we do, what do we do, how do we deal with this!?!?! Well Aparently people who have been living in this state their entire lives and drive those big 4WD SUVs they can fit their 17 children into, handle a SINGLE INCH of snow by driving 4 MPH.
What is normally a round trip of 20 mins took THREE AND A HALF HOURS!!! Why? For many reasons. First of all, I don't think my spedometer went above 5 MPH the entire time. Second of all, everyone was being WAY overly cautious. Did you know that when you're at a red light, and it turns green, and you take your sweet time getting started because you're afraid of a little snow, the sensor on the light automatically decides that there's no one at the light and it changes to red again within less than a minute? Well, it does. And while some jackass is taking 73 years to press down on the gas pedal, he is ensuring that he and only he will get through the light when it turns green. This backs up traffic at EVERY SINGLE TRAFFIC LIGHT IN THE WHOLE VALLEY by at least 5 blocks, with people sitting at each and every light for 20mins+ just to get through because people who have been living and driving in the snow all their lives can't handle a SINGLE INCH of snow on the ground, adding OVER THREE HOURS to my trip. That wasted my ENTIRE day, because guess what, the second I got home, my brother calls for his ride home and I had to go out and do it again, the second time taking 2 hrs and 45 mins. I had a full tank of gas when I started out today, now it's almost empty. That is an entire $40 that I really didn't have to spare, completely and utterly wasted for no other reason than that people who have been living and driving in the snow their entire lives don't fricken know how to drive in a SINGLE INCH of snow. WTFx3billion people!!!
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!! If you can't handle driving in a SINGLE INCH of snow, DONT FREAKIN DRIVE AT ALL!!! Do everyone else a favor and JUST STAY HOME!!! Better yet, move to a state where it doesn't snow at all because you're too retarded to live here in the winter!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Exile chapter 31 draft 4
Finished with the fourth draft of Exile chapter 31 and it can be downloaded here.
Not many changes here, just a few small continuity issues, and one or two stupid things I wasn't really thinking about when I wrote them apparently. After editing this chapter I think that if I ever actually decided to break this story up into two parts, this would make a better ending for the first, there's a bit more closure to things.
One small thing that was added to this chapter in the third draft was a bit with Fayt Nightfang watching from Avalon as the Samirreh conquer Nothengard. That small part would make the perfect epilogue if I were to split the story, but the better thing to do by far is just try to get it cut down as much as possible before i really put thought into splitting it. It's a very short part, only a handful of paragraphs, and really, the only thing it serves to do is remind you that there is an antagonist in this story, and he's still there, still evil, still up to no good, and he's on the verge of winning.
Not many changes here, just a few small continuity issues, and one or two stupid things I wasn't really thinking about when I wrote them apparently. After editing this chapter I think that if I ever actually decided to break this story up into two parts, this would make a better ending for the first, there's a bit more closure to things.
One small thing that was added to this chapter in the third draft was a bit with Fayt Nightfang watching from Avalon as the Samirreh conquer Nothengard. That small part would make the perfect epilogue if I were to split the story, but the better thing to do by far is just try to get it cut down as much as possible before i really put thought into splitting it. It's a very short part, only a handful of paragraphs, and really, the only thing it serves to do is remind you that there is an antagonist in this story, and he's still there, still evil, still up to no good, and he's on the verge of winning.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Exile Chapter 30 Draft 4
So, after sleeping almost two days straight, I'm back to work on Exile again and the fourth draft of chapter 30 can be found at the bottom of this page.
This chapter was new to draft 3 and is another chapter about Patrick and Weasel. This chapter is very long, as all chapters about these characters are, and it is nearly all action. We've got a large battle, a smaller ambush, an epic duel, and the two storylines finally meet when Aaron and Anna show up to save the day.
Despite the fact that this is basically only the second draft of this chapter, I did a really good job on teh first draft of it. There was very little that needed editing, and the things that did were just small things like bad grammer and the need for more punctuation.
For a while I had been considering cutting this story into two volumes rather than going through and chopping it down to size. This right here would have been the breaking point between the two books. We've got climaxes in both storylines and a quick epilogue would tie things up in a nice bow to set up for the second volume, but then i decided I was just being lazy and not wanting to do the work of chopping it down, something that the story itself really needs so i decided against doing it. Beides, as my Agent says, it's much easier to sell a standalone than it is to sell a series.
This chapter was new to draft 3 and is another chapter about Patrick and Weasel. This chapter is very long, as all chapters about these characters are, and it is nearly all action. We've got a large battle, a smaller ambush, an epic duel, and the two storylines finally meet when Aaron and Anna show up to save the day.
Despite the fact that this is basically only the second draft of this chapter, I did a really good job on teh first draft of it. There was very little that needed editing, and the things that did were just small things like bad grammer and the need for more punctuation.
For a while I had been considering cutting this story into two volumes rather than going through and chopping it down to size. This right here would have been the breaking point between the two books. We've got climaxes in both storylines and a quick epilogue would tie things up in a nice bow to set up for the second volume, but then i decided I was just being lazy and not wanting to do the work of chopping it down, something that the story itself really needs so i decided against doing it. Beides, as my Agent says, it's much easier to sell a standalone than it is to sell a series.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas.
It's over. Thank God, it's over. December always nearly kills me. I really kinda hate it. By the way, never make the mistake of driving past a Walmart on Christmas Eve... I was stuck in the traffic trying to squeeze into a parking lot that could squeeze no more cars into it for almost 45 mins just trying to go one block down to get onto bangerter, because of all the retarded last minute shoppers. I mean seriously... you see it coming. It happens on the same day every year. It's not like it jumped you from a shadowed alley and stole your wallet at knife point. Couldn't you maybe have, I don't know, thought ahead and, you know, SHOPPED LAST WEEK OR SOMETHING!!! I will NEVER understand the mentality of someone taht leaves christmas shopping until 6 PM the day before Christmas. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean... WHY? Why would you a.) leave it until there's likely nothing left in stores worthwhile to buy and b.) even want to be anywhere near the crowds of like minded retards like yourself? Hell, I hate christmas crowds so much I do the majority of my shopping online so i just don't have to deal with it.
It's no great secret that I'm not exactly a people person, but I have this thing with loud, noisy, pushy crowds of people. They make me want to climb to the top of the nearest tower with a sniper rifle and start taking pot shots. I have this thing where I hate when people block my path. Especially when they appear to be doing either nothing, or having a conversation with someone else right in the middle of the flow of traffic. It drives me crazy. Normally I have a sort of intimidation factor (which I still find strange because i'm not exactly a very imposing figure and prefer to blend nto teh background rather than be noticed) that usually makes people avoid me, leaving a clear path, but in a crowd there's nowhere for them to go. I do not understand why anyone would ever willingly subject themselves to that sort of insanity. Data does not compute!!! And you know what? If you're stupid enough to leave your Christmas shopping until 6 PM on December 24th YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU ARE FORCED TO ENDURE!!!
So, anyway, Merry Christmas to all, and good riddance to the horrid season for another 11 months. And let me tell you, 11 months is all too soon.
It's over. Thank God, it's over. December always nearly kills me. I really kinda hate it. By the way, never make the mistake of driving past a Walmart on Christmas Eve... I was stuck in the traffic trying to squeeze into a parking lot that could squeeze no more cars into it for almost 45 mins just trying to go one block down to get onto bangerter, because of all the retarded last minute shoppers. I mean seriously... you see it coming. It happens on the same day every year. It's not like it jumped you from a shadowed alley and stole your wallet at knife point. Couldn't you maybe have, I don't know, thought ahead and, you know, SHOPPED LAST WEEK OR SOMETHING!!! I will NEVER understand the mentality of someone taht leaves christmas shopping until 6 PM the day before Christmas. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean... WHY? Why would you a.) leave it until there's likely nothing left in stores worthwhile to buy and b.) even want to be anywhere near the crowds of like minded retards like yourself? Hell, I hate christmas crowds so much I do the majority of my shopping online so i just don't have to deal with it.
It's no great secret that I'm not exactly a people person, but I have this thing with loud, noisy, pushy crowds of people. They make me want to climb to the top of the nearest tower with a sniper rifle and start taking pot shots. I have this thing where I hate when people block my path. Especially when they appear to be doing either nothing, or having a conversation with someone else right in the middle of the flow of traffic. It drives me crazy. Normally I have a sort of intimidation factor (which I still find strange because i'm not exactly a very imposing figure and prefer to blend nto teh background rather than be noticed) that usually makes people avoid me, leaving a clear path, but in a crowd there's nowhere for them to go. I do not understand why anyone would ever willingly subject themselves to that sort of insanity. Data does not compute!!! And you know what? If you're stupid enough to leave your Christmas shopping until 6 PM on December 24th YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU ARE FORCED TO ENDURE!!!
So, anyway, Merry Christmas to all, and good riddance to the horrid season for another 11 months. And let me tell you, 11 months is all too soon.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Exile Chapter 29 Draft 4
Finished Chapter 29 of the fourth draft of Exile last night but fell asleep on my computer before I could post it, woke up with waffle face and 300 pages of j at 2 AM and said I'll fix it tomorrow and went to bed. Oh how I suffer for my art . . . well, not really, I'm an insomniac, I don't sleep much anyway. Anyway, the un-J'ed version of this chapter can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.
Just a few changes to the text here to make things more clear, and to give Silmera more realistic things to say while confronting the being that utterly destroyed her mother and used her to nearly exterminate the human race. I've also put in a few more hints that Silmera may be falling for Mal, and how ridiculous the idea still seems to her.
Anyway, whenever I start putting a story together I always approach it in three parts, like a three act play, because that is a very good model for a story to follow. The first act introduces the characters, the setting, the rules, the conflict and all of that. The second act tests your characters. Everything that can go wrong does, and the bad guy seems on the verge of winning. The third act the good guys overcome their adversity, made stronger by it, and use what they've learned to triumph over the bad guy.
Take, for example, the original star wars trilogy. Star Wars introduced the characters and their conflict, rebels vs. empire. The antagonists Vader and the emperor, and the setting, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Empire has our heros fleeing for their lives from the empire out for retribution for the events of star wars. Everythig that can go wrong does. People are captured, luke loses a hand and finds that the man he hates with all his heart for murdering his father actually IS his father. They can do nothing but limp away to safety, leaving a fallen friend behind to his fate. In Jedi, the rebels regroup and gather their strength after licking their wounds for a final offensive against the empire, and Luke comes to terms with the truth, using it against his father to force him to choose redemption and death over remaining a slave to the dark side. The emperor dies, the empire falls, everyone is happy, the end.
In Exile the first act introduces us to our heroes, Silmera and Mal, and the supporting characters, Aaron, Anna, Lilia, Patrick, Weasel, and so on. Our antagonists, Fayt Nightfang, Fayt Stain, the Samirreh as a whole. The setting, the four kingdoms a thousand years after an apochalyptic war. And the conflicts, people of the Four Kingdoms vs the Samirreh, Mal vs. the voice in his head, and Silmera vs. Fayt Stain. The second act sees everything that everything that can possibly go wrong does go wrong. Mal loses control of hte Dark God and destroys his village, killing or maiming many of the people he's grown up with. He and Silmera are badly hurt, and banished from teh Hidden Valley forever. They're attacked by a Fayt and Mal is actually turned into a Samirreh by his dark magic. Patrick is sent to take command of the allied army but is greeted with scorn, apprehension and refusal. Silmera is captured by the enemy and Mal learns that he can either save himself and let the world burn, or save the world and walk the rest of his days as a Heretic for his reward. In the end Patrick gets control of hte army and leads it to victory. Mal rescues Silmera and she defeats Fayt Stain. Mal triumphs over the Dark God, removing the curse from himself forever, defeats Fayt Nightfang and foils his plans. Everyone is happy except for most of the main cast who have either died, given up their lives, or been close to someone who has, the end.
I really like the three act format because it gives a very strong structure to a story, and a bit of a roadmap of how the story is to progress as you're brainstorming and putting things together. It gives everything that you need for a good story, Eposition, Conflict, and Triumph, and in all the right order. As one of my english professors in college liked to say, "That Shakespeare dude really knew what he was doing." He followed the three act format religiously, and most of his work is still considered to be very good even after four hundred years.
P.S. the Tron remake was better than it looked. that is not, to say that it was a great movie, it just wasn't as awful as I thought it would be. Still, if you've got the money to see it in the theater, it was fun to watch at least once, especially if you liked the original.
Just a few changes to the text here to make things more clear, and to give Silmera more realistic things to say while confronting the being that utterly destroyed her mother and used her to nearly exterminate the human race. I've also put in a few more hints that Silmera may be falling for Mal, and how ridiculous the idea still seems to her.
Anyway, whenever I start putting a story together I always approach it in three parts, like a three act play, because that is a very good model for a story to follow. The first act introduces the characters, the setting, the rules, the conflict and all of that. The second act tests your characters. Everything that can go wrong does, and the bad guy seems on the verge of winning. The third act the good guys overcome their adversity, made stronger by it, and use what they've learned to triumph over the bad guy.
Take, for example, the original star wars trilogy. Star Wars introduced the characters and their conflict, rebels vs. empire. The antagonists Vader and the emperor, and the setting, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Empire has our heros fleeing for their lives from the empire out for retribution for the events of star wars. Everythig that can go wrong does. People are captured, luke loses a hand and finds that the man he hates with all his heart for murdering his father actually IS his father. They can do nothing but limp away to safety, leaving a fallen friend behind to his fate. In Jedi, the rebels regroup and gather their strength after licking their wounds for a final offensive against the empire, and Luke comes to terms with the truth, using it against his father to force him to choose redemption and death over remaining a slave to the dark side. The emperor dies, the empire falls, everyone is happy, the end.
In Exile the first act introduces us to our heroes, Silmera and Mal, and the supporting characters, Aaron, Anna, Lilia, Patrick, Weasel, and so on. Our antagonists, Fayt Nightfang, Fayt Stain, the Samirreh as a whole. The setting, the four kingdoms a thousand years after an apochalyptic war. And the conflicts, people of the Four Kingdoms vs the Samirreh, Mal vs. the voice in his head, and Silmera vs. Fayt Stain. The second act sees everything that everything that can possibly go wrong does go wrong. Mal loses control of hte Dark God and destroys his village, killing or maiming many of the people he's grown up with. He and Silmera are badly hurt, and banished from teh Hidden Valley forever. They're attacked by a Fayt and Mal is actually turned into a Samirreh by his dark magic. Patrick is sent to take command of the allied army but is greeted with scorn, apprehension and refusal. Silmera is captured by the enemy and Mal learns that he can either save himself and let the world burn, or save the world and walk the rest of his days as a Heretic for his reward. In the end Patrick gets control of hte army and leads it to victory. Mal rescues Silmera and she defeats Fayt Stain. Mal triumphs over the Dark God, removing the curse from himself forever, defeats Fayt Nightfang and foils his plans. Everyone is happy except for most of the main cast who have either died, given up their lives, or been close to someone who has, the end.
I really like the three act format because it gives a very strong structure to a story, and a bit of a roadmap of how the story is to progress as you're brainstorming and putting things together. It gives everything that you need for a good story, Eposition, Conflict, and Triumph, and in all the right order. As one of my english professors in college liked to say, "That Shakespeare dude really knew what he was doing." He followed the three act format religiously, and most of his work is still considered to be very good even after four hundred years.
P.S. the Tron remake was better than it looked. that is not, to say that it was a great movie, it just wasn't as awful as I thought it would be. Still, if you've got the money to see it in the theater, it was fun to watch at least once, especially if you liked the original.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I wash my hands of this weirdness...
So, here it is, the day before the day before the day before christmas... and I get home from work at 2...? wtf... Something seems very strange about that. Anyway, I finished chapter 28 of the fourth draft of Exile last night, but it was late so I went to bed without posting it. You can download it at the bottom of this page.
there were only a few minor changes in this chapter, mostly having to do with what Mal does with the Dark God's power and its effects on Silmera. I dunno what I was thinking the last time around with this chapter but it seemed a little more than a little naughty to me this time through, so I changed it to be a little less icky, and a little more cool.
Anyway, this chapter brings some muuuuuch needed action to the story. Things started out with a bang, but then I went through a very, very long process of building the characters and the world around them without much in the way of action. The time for character and world building is over now, and all the exciting things can happen. And unlike anything Michael Bay has ever produced, you know the reasons, motives and emotions behind all of hte characters' actions so you actually care what happens to them rather than being dazzled by cool explosions and flashy things like that, which distract you from teh lack thereof. (not a Michael Bay fan, in case you were wondering, it doesn't take a genius to make a good transformer's movie, yet he somehow managed to mess it up... twice... buttmunch) All of the set up in Part Two was necessary so that you feel attached to the characters as their lives are turned upside down, and they're fighting for their lives.
there were only a few minor changes in this chapter, mostly having to do with what Mal does with the Dark God's power and its effects on Silmera. I dunno what I was thinking the last time around with this chapter but it seemed a little more than a little naughty to me this time through, so I changed it to be a little less icky, and a little more cool.
Anyway, this chapter brings some muuuuuch needed action to the story. Things started out with a bang, but then I went through a very, very long process of building the characters and the world around them without much in the way of action. The time for character and world building is over now, and all the exciting things can happen. And unlike anything Michael Bay has ever produced, you know the reasons, motives and emotions behind all of hte characters' actions so you actually care what happens to them rather than being dazzled by cool explosions and flashy things like that, which distract you from teh lack thereof. (not a Michael Bay fan, in case you were wondering, it doesn't take a genius to make a good transformer's movie, yet he somehow managed to mess it up... twice... buttmunch) All of the set up in Part Two was necessary so that you feel attached to the characters as their lives are turned upside down, and they're fighting for their lives.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)