The Eternal Chain Chapter 1 first draft

Okay, so, I'm rewriting Beyond the Lost Horizon. As this book will be including the story of all three books in the trilogy that Beyond the Lost Horizon was starting I've decided that the title no longer fits, and have changed the name to what the third book would have been called: The Eternal Chain.

Anyway, I've finished the first chapter of The Eternal Chain and it can be downloaded at the bottom of this page.

Almost everything in this chapter has changed from the original. The setting is different, the characters are different, they meet under different circumstances. However, at the same time, it is generally the same area of the world, and generally the same things are going on in the world. The motivations for the characters are different than they were, but they're still relatively the same people. In this version Raven is no longer trying to save Maree, the love of his youth. He's trying to avenge the death of Mari, his twin sister, and he's recruiting people who have a grudge against the Seven to hunt them down and kill them all. He's also protecting those whom the Seven want dead, which is where Kriss and Brand both come in. Brand is a bit older than he was, and a bit more bitter at the world, and Kriss is failing miserably at trying to pass herself off as a boy to hide herself from the Seven. She's fleeing ritual sacrifice at the hands of the Priory of the Blessed Radiance, a third order of sorcery that I've added to this book, rather than an arranged marriage.

The fact that Brand feels strong deja vu, and the fact that he feels he once knew and horribly lost Kriss are new elements to the story as well. Though they would have been brought in somewhere in the third volume of hte original trilogy, I felt that I should introduce them as early as possible in the new version so that I don't have to rely on the tired and ridiculous premise of love at first sight as I did in the original.

Also, in the original all of the characters had a distinct way of speaking that gave them a bit more color and personality. I haven't done much of that here yet. That is something that i typically change in later drafts once I've got the story and what people need to say at what parts more solidified.

Anyway, Enjoy =)

P.S. well, it looks like Google is pussing out over my book review site. Patrick Rothfuss actually filed a lawsuit against them if they don't keep it down and, understandably, they'd rather just take down my site rather than pay legal fees to protect the first amendment rights of someone they know as an e-mail address in a database. If I felt the great urge I could file my own lawsuit against him, but meh, it's not that huge of a deal. I find it far more entertaining to publically ridicule him on hs own forums and twitter feed for it, as well as make a new site with a different host and just put the review back up for people to read, as well as a detailed explaination added to it about what a dick he is.